Your cart is currently empty.
Your cart is currently empty.
Return To Shop
May 14, 1978 –
Clark Ulysses Fairwood was born on Mother’s Day 1978 in East Plains Lying-In Hospital. His mother, Viola (known as Mama) is of English descent. The Fairwood family belongs to the Christian faith.
Clark attended Calico Ridge Elementary School, was home schooled in the middle years, and later was forced to graduate from Gerald R. Ford Senior High School (now William Jefferson Clinton High School) in Patumwa.
When Clark was eleven years of age, he was handed down a left-handed homemade guitar which belonged to his great grandfather. When Great Granddaddy found out, he took it back. Clark began “sitting in” with local blues giant Smallman Luster, who gave Clark a proper right-handed ukulele, which was not getting much use by the blues giant. Clark had found his voice! Within weeks, he could be seen strumming outside the V.F.W. every night while waiting for Great Granddaddy to come out.
Finding His Voice
When his great grandfather accidently backed over Clark’s beloved uke in 1991, Clark entered the period he not-so-fondly looks back on as his “lost years”. Those who knew the wild young Clark will never forget the flat tires, the missing mailbox, or the infamous “Fishing Boat Incident”. (The reputation earned during this time has led to fostering his current “bad boy” mystique).
The Fairwood Brothers
Clark, along with his brother Rusty (see bio) formed the Fairwood Brothers musical act in the fall of 1996 as a hedge against continuing education, which wasn’t going to happen anyway. Rusty and Clark loaded up Great Granddaddy’s pickup truck with assorted musical equipment “on loan” from Jeevers County Music Supply and set out on the road to fame and fortune. When the truck broke down just blocks from the V.F.W., the boys knew their destiny was calling. After serving a lengthy “house arrest” for taking their great grandfather’s truck, big brother Rusty negotiated what would become a lifetime contract to perform every Friday night at the V.F.W. – a commitment they still honor to this day.
Success At Last
Despite packing the V.F.W. every Friday night, The Fairwood’s big break didn’t come until the release of their first record, Contrary to Popular Belief. The album’s first single, Class of ’71 was an instant favorite on local radio and helped Contrary to Popular Belief earn Rubber, and later Steel status, as certified by the R.I.A.E.P.
Now, with the nightly broadcast of The Fairwood Brothers Hour – ½ hour on Channel 29, the entire Tri-County Area has taken Clark and brother Rusty into their homes and their hearts.
Dating & Romance
Since he first entered the spotlight, Clark has been a fan favorite – not least with the ladies. He is rumored to be involved in a long-distance romance with Cheryl, the new Waffleteria hostess in South West City.
Fun Facts & Favorites
Clark is left-handed, but plays guitar right-handed. His favorite guitar is the Clarquoise Gretsch made especially for him.
Clark is 5’9” and has black hair and hazel eyes. His favorite color is, of course, Clarquoise.
Stewed beef and baked potatoes is Clark’s favorite meal. He can often be seen (but not on-screen) enjoying his fave candy – Clark® Bar.
Clark’s favorite song: What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
July 4, 1976 –
Renoir Isaiah “Rusty” Fairwood was born on either July 3rd or July 4th, 1976 to Viola Fairwood, possibly at East Plains Lying-In Hospital, although other sources claim it was a “home birth”. Rusty’s mother, known as Mama, is a devout woman of faith, and of Irish descent.
Rusty was home schooled until aged nine, when authorities intervened. Although details are sketchy, it’s believed that Rusty then spent some months at Calico Ridge Elementary School, before being sent off to Arkansas Maritime Academy (now Arkansas Academy of Water Sciences) to complete his education. Rusty thus became the first Fairwood to venture beyond the Tri-County Area. While attending A.M.A., young Rusty formed his first band (“more of a gang”, says Rusty today). This “band” and its “performances” was thought to be primarily responsible for the Academy losing its Maritime status. Upon discharge from the Academy, Rusty tried his hand at several endeavors, including a summer as itinerant peach picker and, upon his return to East Plains, several stints at the meat packing plant (off of Dutch Elm).
With seemingly slim hope for a meaningful future, late one Sunday night Rusty (as big brothers will) prevailed on younger brother Clark (see bio) to join him on a visit to an old friend of Mama Fairwood. Mama’s friend just happened to be Assistant Night Manager at Jeevers County Music Supply (and – most crucially – had the keys to his Uncle Jeevers’ music store). Using his great grandfather’s pickup truck as collateral,
Rusty – wielding his budding negotiating skills – in a matter of hours succeeded in driving off (in his great grandfather’s truck) with enough musical gear to furnish a small outdoor festival. Now all the brothers needed were some gigs (plus Rusty needed to learn to play some instrument).
Success came quickly for the hard-working brothers. After performing as The Young Fairwoods at a few ill-fated “dances” at Gerald R. Ford Senior High School (Clark’s alma mater), Rusty and Clark – rechristened The Fairwood Brothers – found themselves offered a prestigious lifetime contract from the V.F.W. which would guarantee they appear every Friday night. Today, having logged literally hundreds of Friday nights at the venue, they’ve never missed a show, except after the fires and the subsequent rebuild two doors down.
When the legendary East Plains: Get Out! sought a new host for the nightly TV variety show, The Fairwood Brothers were among the first in line at the open auditions, which saw aspirants flock to the Channel 29 Broadcast Center from all across the Tri-County Area, and possibly from even the Nine State Area. Despite such competition, the Fairwoods were easily hands-down favorites for the job. And the brothers took the show and ran with it, making it the #1 program in its Channel 29 time slot – the show we all now know as The Fairwood Brothers Hour – ½ hour.
Rusty is known as the “smart” Fairwood, and enjoys reading, listening to records, and is an avid dancer. When he’s in town, you’ll often find Rusty tearing up the dance floor at the Tangotorium in Patumwa.
Rumor has it that “sparks fly” every time Rusty gets near the lovely Bedevarma Constantinople-Valdez – better known as Varma, the charming hostess-model for Channel 29’s own top cash prize game show, Spin the Wheel! Brother Clark has hinted about a “best man” role, but Rusty’s not letting the cat out of the bag!
Rusty has a beloved daughter, Marla.
Rusty is right-handed, but plays guitar left-handed, and bass guitar right-handed.
Rusty is 5’10” with multi-colored hair and green eyes. His favorite color is any except plaid.
Rusty is a “pescetarian” and prefers the local catch under Lacasha Falls.
Rusty’s favorite record is Strawberry Fields Forever.